Monday, April 17, 2006

I have time on my hands.

I remember last summer, when I nearly went crazy. When you move to the edge of the city and can't pop out at a moment's notice, when you don't have the sort of friends you can hang out with on anything like a regular basis and when your family doesn't whizz you off somewhere for the summer holidays, I guess that qualifies as the expected outcome.

When I was a kid, I used to lock myself in my room so the other kids couldn't drag me out to play. And I have been dragged. Forcibly. I could read for a day at a stretch, and I could think for longer. I simply didn't need anyone else when I was at home. Just how healthy that attitude is for a kid who has to attend school, I can tell you. Not at all. Was I normal, socially? Well, take a wild guess.

Now, double the years have passed and since I got busier, I've found that I can't read for too long without having to get up and do something in between. I can't think for too long, because I drive myself crazy. Though I have less control over that than one would imagine...sometimes I just don't think about something at all and whizz merrily along, and then when the occasion to speak about said thing arises, I find I have a whole lot of thoughts and opinions waiting to spill over. Subconscious thought - good or bad?

In some cases, rather terrible. A lot of my situations arise from thinking too much.

This blog wasn't created to angst, really, so I'm keeping this down to mere observation.

This summer, fortunately, things are different. I'm popping off to Kodaikanal with my family for about 10-12 days - and I love that place like nobody's business. Then we zip off to this Youth Camp organised by Navodaya, and this rocks because there'll be around 500 people there who qualify as 'Youth' and I desperately want to meet and get to know more people. If I'd known I would some years back, I'd have been absolutely amazed, but there it is. People change. Thank goodness.

I have about a week before I leave and a week after I come back to blow before - joy!! Third year begins. That's about the right amount of time to read, potter about, try and get back into my abstract art, generally waste space, get on with Youth stuff and hang out with the two friends I do hang out with outside college, who are both from church.

So, as I said, this summer things are different. :-)

Also, study holidays = holidays with something to occupy you (ie - exams) in between. So now, I can potter about for a couple of days at a time, relearning the joys Wodehouse has to offer and finding that I can, when the occasion merits it, still read for hours at a stretch.

I did say that I ramble.


BitterSweetSymphony said...

I'm glad your making an effort to be social,though it's not very you =\
but I'm not one to talk right now,I've changed tons..though to you I just must be plain weird.

Scribbles. said...

It's very me, actually. You knew me largely in my college persona :-) I'm quite social, though not effusively so. And I don't like being lonely. I also don't like admitting that I need someone.

I've changed quite a bit too, since you knew me well :-) I always change.